Disney

Our mind often takes us back to times and people, in places we don't want to think about.

Flipping through the catalogue of memories, we are bound to land on a few we stashed away. Pushed so far down that you thought it'd be ages until they came back to you.

 

I can't stop thinking about Disneyland.

The last time I went was in 2009.

It was the night I fell in love.

Last.

Not with Disneyland, but with him.

It was after midnight and we were both naked sitting in an empty hotel bathtub.

With no water between us, we passed the joint back and forth, the only light a faded dim green from the room beyond.

Smoke filled my hazy world.

My brain spun out of control.

I haven't felt that way since. Or ever before. For anyone.

And my mind won't let it go.

Transition

With a little over three weeks to go until I close my life in Matsumoto, it's starting to sink in.

To hit me.

Tears streamed down my face today as I biked against traffic to work.

I thought I would feel relieved telling my work and the families of the children that I would be leaving.

I thought I would feel that a weight had been lifted once I finally made the decision.

And it has. 

But a new weight is settling.

The anxiety of transition.

The speed of which it happens at.

The rush if the unknown that you're plunging into.

Sometimes we really lose what mattered most in the process of moving forward.

There's nothing I can do but wait.

Keep my eyes, my mind, and most of all my heart open to everything new that is coming my way.

Looping in my head-

Everything will be just fine.

When the dust clears I will find

Everything I've been looking for.

Wet Eyelashes

Biking in the rain.

I've never felt more alive.

Tomorrow morning will mark the beginning of the countdown.

Only thirty more sunrises until I move.

Until I say goodbye to what has been one of the most incredible places I've been privileged to call home.

Sweet Matsumoto, I love you so.

むずかしいせんたく

Living abroad is a really weird experience.

You spend time in a country and culture that isn't yours, and you're expected to adapt to it.

You make friends with people who are only temporarily living there as well, or locals who think the same thing about their friendship with you.

It’s all very temporary, yet there is still a need to make that place your home.

When living abroad, you don't want to feel like a foreigner. You want to belong and feel comfortable.

But eventually, well, for most of us at least, there comes a time when you need to leave.

When it's time to move on.

But how do you really know when it's time?

How do you know when you need to close one door, so others can open?

When and how do you decide to leave a place that you truly love?



My mind is spinning and I don't know how to slow it down.

Nomz

A big part of living abroad is, well, the food. With every place I travel to and live in, I get to experience new foods, and learn how to cook with different ingredients. And of course, it's always nice to still be able to eat the comfort foods that remind you of home. Here's a look at the last two weeks of eating in Japan!

Pancakes with honey and crushed peanuts.

Some type of seaweed appetizer

Tako-Yaki: Doughballs filled with pieces of octopus.

Yaki-Niku: gilled meat

Papaya Salad

Vietnamese soup with beef and lemon grass

Homemade shrimp and fish burrito. Cooked with the assistance of a Jamaican friend and a Japanese friend.

Homemade ramen with chili and seaweed.

Daikon: a giant radish root vegetable

Curry flavored Cheeto-like snacks

Cookies and creme Pocky!

Fried rice with salmon, seaweed, and daikon.

Fish and veggies

Italian date dinner with a friend.

Kimchi with mushrooms and broccoli

Giant mushrooms!

Making homemade spring rolls and gyoza.

Typical breakfast of homemade miso soup

Fish!

There is a government warning in Japan that informs people that the mushrooms are almost all over the normal level of radiation exposure, and I really want to care... but they just taste soo good here.

Salad: Fish, mushroom, avacado, sesame dressing

Korean BBQ

And of course.... sushi

Homemade breakfast of bagel with miso paste, cucumber and eggplant

An appetizer type of dish that is made of dressing and tiny little shrimps.

Homemade sauté of eggplant, avocado, mushrooms and almonds

Homemade tomato and basil chicken salad with sesame

Across the Universe

Images of broken light, which 
Dance before me like a million eyes, 
They call me on and on across the universe. 

Limitless undying love, which 
Shines around me like a million suns, 
It calls me on and on across the universe 

Nothings gonna change my world.