Last night I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, as the rain fell outside my window. I hadn't seen the movie in years, and the last time I had seen it, it didn't stick to me the same way. I found myself thinking about it after finishing last night and all day today.
I realized that it made me remember all the things about love that I have been trying to forget. That I had pushed away to a far corner in the back of my mind.
Love is spontaneous, impulsive, thrilling, breathtaking, exhausting, addicting, heart stopping, energizing, chaotic, and it drives you crazy.
A roller coaster of color.
A blur of the seasons.
A video tape alternating between fast forward and rewind, the footage moving at full speed in both directions.
It's an explosion in your mind, in your heart, where nothing is ever the same again.
A dream you can't escape, a reoccurring memory.
A favorite song that just keeps playing while all the photographs taken are flipping through your mind.
The space where you can say what you want to another person, let the words come rushing from your mouth.
It's the hole you fall into where you learn all the fucked up things about the other; what's been ruined, what's missing, what went wrong, their weaknesses and insecurities, and the knowledge of it all makes you love them even more. You realize in all their darkness, they are your sunshine.